Democratic Debates in Detroit!
#WhuttupDoe
If you saw the last debate, you know this will basically be in bullet point style as I watch and listen.
Opening statements, paraphrased:
Cloud Boot Jar: I have big bold ideas, but they're realistic. Meaning, I'm gonna talk progressive but govern moderate.
Bet on My Stork: I like good things and good people, I don't like bad things or bad people. Progressive talking points with no substance, I'm here for everybody.
BootyJudge: Trump got elected because what we were doing hasn't been working, so what I want to do is (insert Bet On My Stork's answer).
Elizabeth Warren: Trump sucks!!!
Bernie Sanders: 87 Million Americans are lacking Healthcare, 500,000 Americans are homeless, yet Amazon is not paying taxes. Half of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, while 49% of all new wealth is going to the top percent of the country, we must transform our economy and government and defeat Trump!
Jake Tapper is already framing questions from a right wing perspective.
Bernie just flat out told John Delaney that he's wrong about Medicare for All. Now he's hitting him with all the facts. John Delaney meanwhile is trying to rebuttal by defending private healthcare providers. Good strategy, dumb-ass.
Elizabeth Warren is telling all the corporate democrats about themselves using right wing talking points against Medicare for All. I sort of hate when politicians do the antectdotal stories though. I feel bad for Eddie, but c'mon Liz.
I like how she answered Tapp Jaker's question about raising taxes on the middle class. "Costs overall will go down for middle class families." That's the part people are concerned about, regardless if it's taxes or medical bills.
Kind of hilarious how Tapp Jaker is cutting off Booty Judge mid sentence.
Beto, your plan sucks. Just shut up. You are strawmanning Bernie and Liz's position. Just be quiet Storkman.
Cloud Boot Jar has a plan that's BETTER than Medicare for All? LMFAOOOOOOOO.
Oh she's using the "People can't wait for a perfect system, we need a realistic healthcare model" argument. Cool Story Amy.
Bernie just stepped in and put Tapp Jaker in his place, as well as Amy Cloud Boot Jar. It was pretty awesome. Detroit applauded him. He basically said "Bitch, you won't have premiums or co-pays, what don't you understand?"
John Delaney- "I don't think my colleagues understand how the business works."
Bernie Sanders- "Health is NOT a business!" (DJ Air Horns for Bernie)
HickenBickenBackBeinBoolooper spoke for 10 seconds before getting cut off lmao.
Marianne Williamson, flower child hippie mushroom queen, basically said she's scared of the right wing, even though she usually agrees with the lefty left.
Pete BootyJudge actually just said some real shit. "If we embrace a far left platform, Republicans will call us crazy socialists. If we embrace a right wing platform, they will call us crazy socialists."
Tim Ryan (see Amy Cloud Boot Jar's answer.)
Bernie is straight up COOKING Tapp Jaker and the crowd is eating it up.
Bernie Sanders is eating everyone on stage alive, other than Elizabeth Warren who is basically him, light.
45 minutes in and we're moving to the SECOND topic. Immigration.
Mayor BootyJudge: It'll still be illegal to cross the border when I'm the Prez, but something something nice things, good things, something something not bad things or mean things.
Storky McGhee (OK, I'm getting a little lax with these names, I know.): We're still locking those illegals up, but we'll be alot less racist when we do it.
Elizabeth Warren: I would decriminalize crossing the border. Trump is racist, he's horrible, he's a bigot, he's breaking up families, he's a monster......
Cloud Boot Jar: Path to citizenship, immigrants are cool by me.
Bernie Sanders: (see Elizabeth Warrens answer, plus giving undocumented immgrants free healthcare and college, minus about half of the Trump rhetoric.)
I'm pretty sure John Delaney is Joe Biden's poorly created clone.
Tim Ryan is still talking about PAYING FOR HEALTHCARE. Do not expect to see him at Debate 3.
Topic 3. Gun Violence.
BootyJudge: Universal background checks, mental health checks, ban on assault weapons. Solid.
HickenBackBeinBool: We passed background checks and limited magazine capacity in Colorado, what's y'alls problem?
Amy: We're taking on the NRA, it's there fault!
Bernie: See Amy's answer, but also bragging about his low grade from the NRA. Also, mixed with Booty Judge's answer, and getting money out of politics.
Wait....who the eff is Steve Bullock? I haven't heard him say anything this whole time...
Anyway, he basically said he ran the Koch Bros out of Montana and he'll do the same in Washington.
Marianne Williamson is calling out the corporate democrats who took money from big money industries.
Holy shit, it's been an hour and 7 minutes so far. First commercial.
Bernie is slaughtering Hickenlooper for calling his ideas radical, and becomes the angry old man we all know and love.
Moderators called out Elizabeth Warren for self describing as a capitalist, and asked her if she did that to seem like a “safe” alternative to Bernie. Ouch.
LMFAO Elizabeth Warren basically told John Delaney to stop being a pussy and drop out of the race. Amazing.
John Delaney just said the Green New Deal was unrealistic. He’s really proving to be a right wing democrat in a time where he should KNOW that’s not what we want. We basically only got good responses from Bernie and Warren on this front.
It’s insane how many times Bernie Sanders has had to explain how transition periods work with policy change. It’s ALMOST like the other candidates are being dense on purpose.
Around this time my phone died, so I wasn’t able to catch the rest, but if it went how the rest did, then this was a huge win for Sanders and Warren, and a terrible, god awful, horrendous showing from John Delaney. Holy shit he was bad.
I’ll be back for night 2 tomorrow.
LMAO @ the nicknames!
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