You can never get credit when you're black in America. Everything is either a backhanded compliment (he's so articulate, he's so well read) or an unrealistic expectation(if Jay Z can be a billionaire, any black man can!). Just because Barack Obama was the President, does not mean that the MAJORITY of African Americans, Afro-Latinx Americans, or Africans who live in this country have the same shot. But I digress, this is more about how we can never be any type of way without extreme judgment. I'll give examples.
I've always been told that I talk white. Now, despite the overwhelming majority of my family being black, my friends parents and their children all being black for the most part, I still went to school with mostly white people for most of my life. When we lived in an all black, working class neighborhood, my parents enrolled me in private school in the neighboring city, rather than having me go to school in the neighborhood. Then a mass gang fight broke out, spilled all over our yard, scared the shit out outta my Mom, and the next thing I knew a "For Sale" sign was up. We sold that house, and moved a little further away from the city.
Stepping into school that day, there was ONE other kid who looked KINDA like me. He was a biracial kid named Randy (we're still friends). Besides Randy and I, I can name every other black student at the school at the time. Joe, Janae, Dennis, Brittany, Will and Justin. So, needless to say, walking into that classroom was the first time I ever noticed that I was not like everyone else. The other students knew it too, and they definitely took a while to warm up.
During this time, I would often visit my old neighborhood to get my haircut (shout out Shears in the Park and Salon Ultimo), visit my Grandma and Grandpa who lived in the house my Dad grew up in on 6 Mile and Livernois, or head east towards Mt. Clemens where my entire Mom's side of the family lived. "Oh you can tell he go to school with dem white folks," was a phrase I heard many times. I never thought anything of it. It's also important to mention that during this era of my life, I was heavy into basketball, and was on a league at the old YMCA which used to be on 7 Mile and Lahser. So I had a very healthy dose of the hood from my former neighborhood, family members, and basketball team mates, and a healthy dose of suburban life due to where I went to school.
Slowly as middle school and high school approached, more and more black people began attending the schools I went to. Most of them talked similar as each other, used similar words that you would hear in rap music, and all lived in neighborhoods like the one I had moved from. This is when the whole "acting white" thing really comes into play. Because again, I always loved rap music, I always loved basketball, I liked to wear clothes that were considered fashionable, but I sounded so different.
"This nigga talk like a white boy."
So what does one do when they begin to grow into adulthood and they begin to realize that there are certain codes of conduct that each race is supposed to adhere to? Well, some of us actively try to become the sterotype that everyone views when they see us to be accepted. Some of us might start hanging out in areas where we know our safety is, at best questionable, but that's where "real niggas" chill, so you gotta be there. You might hang out with people who are into the things you hear about in music, possibly who all wear a particular color, and do illegal things for money. You might get into group fights at movie theatres and in bars that you normally wouldn't have gotten into, you may get into stand offs with guns on both sides outside of the Fox Theatre on Woodward, and you might also have your left earring ripped out during one of these altercations in the club.
The other side to this coin, is when you do find yourself in a struggle or a situation that isn't the best for your well being, people act like there is absolutely no excuse for it other than your own actions. Even though statistically, black people are 4 times as likely to be arrested for drugs as white people, generational wealth that has accumulated since the countries founding is equal to roughly $100,000 per white family is only about $10,000 per black family (since we couldn't own anything until the 1960's and even then there were unfair disadvantages such as the way the G.I. Bill was distributed), black people with college degrees are statistically less likely to get jobs than white people with a high school diploma, somehow because Jay Z and Diddy exist, there is no reason for ANY black person to have difficulty building wealth. What people ignore is reality. Jay Z is from the Marcy Projects. Name another Billionaire from the Marcy Projects. No? Name a millionaire from the Marcy Projects. Exactly. What people fail to realize is these people are the exception, not the rule. So to compare the average black man to any of these elites is simply ridiculous and unrealistic.
Barack Obama was the first and only black President. From 1776-2019, there has been ONE black President. Let's stop pretending that things have changed so drastically since 2008 that the playing field is level. It is absolutely not level. Refer to the above statistics.
My point is this. My blackness does not have anything to do with how I pronounce my words, my style of dress, or any of the above. I could be blasting Coldplay in my headphones, walking down the street in an Abercrombie shirt, and still get pulled over by police. I can say the R's at the end of my words very clearly, and still be called the N word with said R attached. You can never impress everybody. For some people, I'll always be a white dude in black skin because I talk proper and I'm into politics. To some, I'll always be a thug because I dress a certain way, listen to trap rap, and curse casually when speaking to my peers; despite never having a violent charge on my record.
So instead, I'll just be Shane, and y'all can take it or leave it.
